Tongue-tied and full of fear

I seem at a loss for words. Tongue tied and confused, but never have I been more sure. I'm following you to a world I have never seen, a world where everything is upside down, and every word is spoken differently. I fear the sensation of being in such unfamiliar surroundings. And at the same time I can not wait. Can not wait to hear the lilting tones of another language, the colors of another culture. What I fear most is just how different I will be. I have grown use to blending in, don't get me wrong I also was my own person, but I knew how to hide. How is it that I am suppose to hide now? How am I suppose to sheild myself from everything that can hurt me, when all you do is pull me into the open. You are taking chances with me, risks. I am not a risk taker, I am careful, I am in control, and I am slowly losing it all.

I find though, that the feeling of falling isn't quite as frightening as I first thought it might be. If anything it is quite enjoyable. Don't get me wrong, I am still scared out of my skin, but I think I can take a chance. I think I can relinquish a bit of the leash that I have kept chained tightly around my life. I just hope that I won't lose all control. For if I did, I fear I would lose you too.

Crooked Smiles for Crooked Souls

We have been technologically updated, trading our old HP computer for a brand new LG, and I couldn't be happier. I do however; find that to be a little odd. Maybe it's because of the fact that talking to you has become so much easier. What makes it even more exciting and enthralling is the childish feeling I under-go every time your name pops up. I can feel my face flush, and my blood tingle.

Soon enough I will actually be able to see you. Actually have you infront of me, be able to see your smile. I am so very anxious. I have a crooked smile fitted between my ears, and it just doesn't seem to disappear. Though I am not one to complain.

Blurry Promises and Broken Pinkies

The days have begun to blur together. A single mess of sound and smell and sight, and it's completely overwhelming. It seems that I have a harder time controling myself, controlling everything within me that wants nothing more than to cause harm. It's an undeniable thurst for blood. And I can't seem to contain it anymore, I'm spinning out of control. If only there was something that could pull me back down to earth, something that could ground me. I am hoping it's him.

I hope with everything that this is the answer, that this will be different, that it won't kill me. I've built my walls up so high I don't know if I can bring them down again, but don't get me wrong, I wil try. I will try to be normal, try to be careless, try to be unafraid. It may take a while but I will get there, I will find a place that I am content with. In the past I use to expect the worse, expect that everything would end and it would break me. Not this time. This time I will be careful, but I will trust you. This time I will hope for the best, and not expect the end. This time will be different, I can promise that.

Red Alert : Drama in the middle of a disaster.

This world seems to be changing faster than it should. Slowly falling out of control and into chaos. And there is nothing we can do about it, if anything it seems that we are only helping it along. Guiding it on it's destructive path, then again though that is human nature. There is a little evil in everyone, most though, choose to be good. To find the little piece of reason within them and listen to it. Some days it's hard. Hard to be good, to help others, to be who everyone wants you to be. And at some point in everyone's life it will become too hard and they will lash out. They will let their fists fly and connect with whatever they can.

I feel so ready to fall. So ready to just let the darkness consume me and fall into it's steady embrace. Darkness is always solid, there is nothing debatable about it, where as good can be turned and twisted until it fits. It shouldn't be like that, then again I guess everything can't be completely black and white, there has to be a little color in the world. Otherwise it would be a very boring and mundane world. There would be no love, no life, no reason. It would be pointless to assume that everything can be changed just with one word, that everything can become better just because one person tries. It will take the world to change it, if the world is willing.