The days have begun to blur together. A single mess of sound and smell and sight, and it's completely overwhelming. It seems that I have a harder time controling myself, controlling everything within me that wants nothing more than to cause harm. It's an undeniable thurst for blood. And I can't seem to contain it anymore, I'm spinning out of control. If only there was something that could pull me back down to earth, something that could ground me. I am hoping it's him.
I hope with everything that this is the answer, that this will be different, that it won't kill me. I've built my walls up so high I don't know if I can bring them down again, but don't get me wrong, I wil try. I will try to be normal, try to be careless, try to be unafraid. It may take a while but I will get there, I will find a place that I am content with. In the past I use to expect the worse, expect that everything would end and it would break me. Not this time. This time I will be careful, but I will trust you. This time I will hope for the best, and not expect the end. This time will be different, I can promise that.
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