What is it? That stuttering inside of my chest. The uneven pounding of something caged within my ribs. It's an odd sort of feeling. Almost like tripping. That moment where you realize that you are falling and there isn't anything you can do to catch yourself. You just have to let go and accept the consequences. How ever agonizing and raw it is, it's meant to be held. So I will reach my arms out and embrace this frail new reality. This truth that has changed everything within my own life. The way I use to function has become only a hum in the buzz of every day chaos. A distant memory that fades faster and faster with the approaching day.
This has to be a good thing though. Or maybe it's something more awful than I could ever imagine, something that will destroy me completely. No chance of escape, no surrender, no freedom. But maybe that's the change I need, a constant. Something that keeps me still, holds me in one place. Something that grounds me, pulling me back towards earth when my head gets to high in the clouds, searching for a lie.
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