Stains

I thought this would get easier. And then today showed up and I could barely function. I didn't know how to get out of bed and go some place I didn't already want to be. Maybe it will get easier, maybe this day will begin to mean nothing. How long that will take I cannot say, and if I am ready for it, I don't know. I don't know if I am ready to let go of something that changed me so completely. Something that changed the way I function. Something that made me want to be happy for myself, not just for others.

Whats the worst that I could say? What could I say that would change everything, would it be better if I stayed? If I remained here, surrounded by memories.

Every day I look in the mirror and find something I want to change. I find a flaw and try to fix it, it may take only a few seconds or it may take months, but I will fix it. I fight to destroy imperfections, because I know how everyone wants the perfect person. Is that so wrong? I feel better knowing that I may be making some one else happy. But every morning I find another stain that won't come off.