These days it seems that I open my mouth and all that comes out are mistakes. Nothing makes sense, nothing is right, and yet I can't stop talking. The hole that I'm digging myself into is getting steadily deeper, steadily darker and steadily colder. Mind you though I can handle the cold and I can bare the dark, but being so far beneath everything else is frightening. It makes me question whether or not I will ever find my way out. If I will ever be able to talk myself out of this, that's when the doubt sets in. That is the moment I realize that I may never find my way out of this, I might just be here forever.
Some days I wish that I could explain everything. That I could tell the world who I am, and that in return the world would accept me. It seems like too much to ask though, and I'm afraid to ask because of what may happen. What if it changes things I don't want it to, then again though isn't change suppose to be good. This seems like one type of change that wouldn't be good, this seems like something that would ruin not only me but those around me. Like something that would create more problems then it's worth. And at the same time I wish it wasn't so hard to figure people out. It would be so much nicer if every one came with an instruction manual, so that I didn't have to play it so carefully. It would be nice just to do something spontaneous and crazy, but I worry of the consequences, and just how bad they would be.
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